This is the Sickest Shit

Every big all in I lose. It just WILL NOT END.

Stage #327513309: Holdem No Limit $1 - 2006-03-29 04:57:41 (ET)
Table: KENNEDY AVE (Real Money) Seat #8 is the dealer
Seat 8 - MATTKUPE ($424.83 in chips)
Seat 9 - SBEAR ($258.24 in chips)
Seat 2 - LUKYACES03 ($103.15 in chips)
Seat 3 - JOE_HACHEM ($72.70 in chips)
Seat 5 - DRAGONYSTIC ($384.60 in chips)
SBEAR - Posts small blind $1
LUKYACES03 - Posts big blind $2
*** POCKET CARDS ***
Dealt to DRAGONYSTIC [As Ah]
JOE_HACHEM - Folds
DRAGONYSTIC - Raises $8 to $8
MATTKUPE - Folds
SBEAR - Raises $21 to $22
LUKYACES03 - Folds
DRAGONYSTIC - All-In(Raise) $376.60 to $384.60
SBEAR - All-In $236.24
DRAGONYSTIC - returned ($126.36) : not called
*** FLOP *** [Js Qs 3h]
*** TURN *** [Js Qs 3h] [Ad]
*** RIVER *** [Js Qs 3h Ad] [10h]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
DRAGONYSTIC - Shows [As Ah] (Three of a kind, aces)
SBEAR - Shows [Kc Ks] (Straight, ten to ace)
SBEAR Collects $515.48 from main pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total Pot($518.48) Rake ($3)
Board [Js Qs 3h Ad 10h]
Seat 2: LUKYACES03 (big blind) Folded on the POCKET CARDS
Seat 3: JOE_HACHEM Folded on the POCKET CARDS
Seat 5: DRAGONYSTIC HI:lost with Three of a kind, aces [As Ah - P:As,P:Ah,B:Ad,B:Qs,B:Js]
Seat 8: MATTKUPE (dealer) Folded on the POCKET CARDS
Seat 9: SBEAR (small blind) won Total ($515.48) All-In HI:($515.48) with Straight, ten to ace [Kc Ks - B:Ad,P:Ks,B:Qs,B:Js,B:10h]

There wasn't a single doubt in my head that that ten was gonna hit. The instant I saw that ace, I knew the river was gonna get me. This is so unreal. That is the third time in a row for AA v KK (all in preflop) to lose for me. What the fuck am I supposed to do? It's getting really hard to stay positive about getting my money in good...because it doesn't seem to matter how I get my money in. I lose, period.

Rounding out the evening nicely was this beat...

STAGE #327470181: HOLDEM NO LIMIT $1 - 2006-03-29 02:32:32 (ET)
Table: KENNEDY AVE (Real Money) Seat #5 is the dealer
Seat 5 - DRAGONYSTIC ($445 in chips)
Seat 6 - CJETT ($141.68 in chips)
Seat 7 - VINAYS84 ($185.55 in chips)
Seat 8 - KEENANJ ($85.14 in chips)
Seat 1 - MAZE22 ($195.60 in chips)
Seat 4 - NDAFLESHBABY ($416.95 in chips)
CJETT - Posts small blind $1
VINAYS84 - Posts big blind $2
*** POCKET CARDS ***
Dealt to DRAGONYSTIC [Ah Ac]
KEENANJ - Calls $2
MAZE22 - Folds (Timeout)
NDAFLESHBABY - Raises $12 to $12
DRAGONYSTIC - Calls $12
CJETT - Folds
VINAYS84 - Folds
KEENANJ - Calls $10
*** FLOP *** [10s 6c Kh]
KEENANJ - All-In $73.14
NDAFLESHBABY - Folds
DRAGONYSTIC - Calls $73.14
*** TURN *** [10s 6c Kh] [8d]
*** RIVER *** [10s 6c Kh 8d] [Kd]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
DRAGONYSTIC - Shows [Ah Ac] (Two Pair, aces and kings)
KEENANJ - Shows [9h Kc] (Three of a kind, kings)
KEENANJ Collects $182.28 from main pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total Pot($185.28) Rake ($3)
Board [10s 6c Kh 8d Kd]
Seat 1: MAZE22 Folded on the POCKET CARDS
Seat 4: NDAFLESHBABY Folded on the FLOP
Seat 5: DRAGONYSTIC (dealer) HI:lost with Two Pair, aces and kings [Ah Ac - P:Ah,P:Ac,B:Kh,B:Kd,B:10s]
Seat 6: CJETT (small blind) Folded on the POCKET CARDS
Seat 7: VINAYS84 (big blind) Folded on the POCKET CARDS
Seat 8: KEENANJ won Total ($182.28) All-In HI:($182.28) with Three of a kind, kings [9h Kc - B:Kh,B:Kd,P:Kc,B:10s,P:9h]

And this one...

STAGE #327498001: HOLDEM NO LIMIT $1 - 2006-03-29 03:55:23 (ET)
Table: KENNEDY AVE (Real Money) Seat #5 is the dealer
Seat 5 - DRAGONYSTIC ($415.80 in chips)
Seat 8 - MATTKUPE ($391 in chips)
Seat 2 - FRITZ7777 ($27.45 in chips)
Seat 3 - ABERNUTZ ($336.60 in chips)
Seat 4 - OP_UKFAN ($57.58 in chips)
MATTKUPE - Posts small blind $1
FRITZ7777 - Posts big blind $2
*** POCKET CARDS ***
Dealt to DRAGONYSTIC [Ac As]
ABERNUTZ - Raises $4 to $4
OP_UKFAN - Folds
DRAGONYSTIC - Raises $12 to $12
MATTKUPE - Calls $11
FRITZ7777 - Calls $10
ABERNUTZ - Calls $8
*** FLOP *** [9h 7d 6d]
MATTKUPE - Checks
FRITZ7777 - Checks
ABERNUTZ - Bets $2
DRAGONYSTIC - Raises $22 to $22
MATTKUPE - Folds
FRITZ7777 - Folds
ABERNUTZ - Calls $20
*** TURN *** [9h 7d 6d] [Qc]
ABERNUTZ - Checks
DRAGONYSTIC - Bets $40
ABERNUTZ - Calls $40
*** RIVER *** [9h 7d 6d Qc] [8c]
ABERNUTZ - Bets $2
DRAGONYSTIC - Calls $2
*** SHOW DOWN ***
ABERNUTZ - Shows [9c 8s] (Two Pair, nines and eights)
DRAGONYSTIC - Mucks
ABERNUTZ Collects $173 from main pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total Pot($176) Rake ($3)
Board [9h 7d 6d Qc 8c]
Seat 2: FRITZ7777 (big blind) Folded on the FLOP
Seat 3: ABERNUTZ won Total ($173) HI:($173) with Two Pair, nines and eights [9c 8s - B:9h,P:9c,P:8s,B:8c,B:Qc]
Seat 4: OP_UKFAN Folded on the POCKET CARDS
Seat 5: DRAGONYSTIC (dealer) HI: [Mucked] [Ac As]
Seat 8: MATTKUPE (small blind) Folded on the FLOP

I feel futile. The poker gods have raped me for 2 months straight...and despite all this, I continue to not tilt and play well. But where's the reward? Rather than breaking through this streak, it sludges on and on...breaking me one week at a time. I'm getting to the point where I feel like I'll never consistently win again, merely due to the randomness of bad luck isolated in my quadrant of the virtual poker universe. Someone has to have the worst luck out there? I got 1-outed 4 times 2 weeks ago for Christ's sake! How much longer of a storm do I have to weather before I get through this unbelievable shit. My bankroll can't take much more.

Yet Another Donk Who Overvalues AK

Sorry for the lack of posts. Life sucks right now...but anyways...

My buddy Matt alerted me to the most hilarious poker quote I've seen in quite a while. That article can be found here. But for those too lazy to click that link...the quote is as follows:

"Q: Lastly Jason, I gotta know... are you a Texas Hold 'Em fan? I abso-freakin'-lutely LOVE the game! So, on that tangent, must 100% agree with your constant and consistent responses of Daunte being well worth a 2nd round gamble. I LOVE our pick-up of Daunte, regardless of the end result. If you have a suited Ace King in Hold 'Em, it is the BEST starting hand! But I cannot tell you how many times I have lost a huge pot to some idiot with pocket 10's, or some other lesser hand. Your consistent points of this trade being an excellent "gamble" are brilliant and accurate! A former 3-time Pro-bowl QB, who threw for 39 TD's in a season, over 100 QB rating, at only 29 yrs of age... FOR A SECOND ROUNDER?!?! You gotta be kidding me. The bargain of '06.........
THE HESS, Yakima, WA 3/21/06"

Keep watchin' the WPT buddy.

I'm in the midst of relearning some very hard lessons about poker. The reason for this is that I started playing a lot of shorthanded 3/6 limit. All sorts of considerations which I have grown to take for granted are now coming up again to bite me in the ass (or save that same ass.)

The fact that I've been so conservative with my bankroll has really helped out because this past week has been the single worst week of poker in my life. I dropped $1500 to a slew of unbelievable beats (this in NL play, mind you.) It sucks, but I still have enough money thanks to good money management skills.

But getting back to my original point, I'm relearning a few things about poker. For instance, how long to play. After you get good enough at NL, you've seen most of the situations and you can glide through a lot of decisions on auto pilot, but I'm not used to limit at all! So what has been happening to me lately is I'll play about 400 hands and then my play will start to degrade. I didn't even realize this until about the third time in a row this happened. I build up a nice stack through solid aggressive play, but then I start to tilt a little as I get mentally tired and then lose most or all of that money back through poor play. I'm just not used to making the kinds of decisions I'm required to make at the 6max limit tables for hours on end.

I know I'll get the hang of it eventually, but it's interesting to see how tough it really is to play a different game than whatever you're used to. I also opened up 3 tables at one point and after 2 orbits I had to close one of the tables because I realized I couldn't do it. I don't have enough skills yet to play more than 2 tables! Blah.

But I think I need to develop a limit game, so I'm glad I'm going through this. I feel like an incomplete poker player when I notice how weak my limit game is, so I'm making every effort to become as skilled at it as I am in no limit. I just hope it doesn't take too long to learn how to beat these games.

1-Outed a 4th time in a Week

PokerStars Game #4265590766: Hold'em No Limit ($1/$2) - 2006/03/12 - 17:34:19 (ET)
Table 'Keid II' Seat #2 is the button
Seat 1: Czek ($97.35 in chips)
Seat 2: Dragonystic ($171 in chips)
Seat 3: mazz5041 ($136.35 in chips)
Seat 4: socalengr ($99.35 in chips)
Seat 6: lazystudent ($338.35 in chips)
mazz5041: posts small blind $1
socalengr: posts big blind $2
fbg_bagger: sits out
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Dragonystic [Ac As]
lazystudent: folds
Czek: calls $2
Dragonystic: raises $8 to $10
mazz5041: folds
socalengr: calls $8
Czek: folds
*** FLOP *** [4s Js 2s]
socalengr: checks
Dragonystic: bets $12
socalengr: raises $12 to $24
Dragonystic: raises $137 to $161 and is all-in
socalengr: calls $65.35 and is all-in
*** TURN *** [4s Js 2s] [Kd] (only card he wins with)
*** RIVER *** [4s Js 2s Kd] [2d]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
socalengr: shows [Kh Kc] (a full house, Kings full of Deuces)
Dragonystic: mucks hand
socalengr collected $199.70 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $201.70 Rake $2
Board [4s Js 2s Kd 2d]
Seat 1: Czek folded before Flop
Seat 2: Dragonystic (button) mucked [Ac As]
Seat 3: mazz5041 (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 4: socalengr (big blind) showed [Kh Kc] and won ($199.70) with a full house, Kings full of Deuces
Seat 6: lazystudent folded before Flop (didn't bet)

This is so fucking unreal. I swear to god, no matter what I do, I'm not allowed to win anymore. I can't fade 1 fucking card. I'm so sick to my stomach.

Can't Shake This

I'm getting utterly killed at the tables. I don't really know what to do except keep playing my best, but my best isn't winning. Anytime I have a hand, everyone folds, anytime I'm bluffing, I can't get called fast enough. I dropped $550 today at the 1/2nl tables in roughly 1000 hands...which is pretty sickening. It might be my worst day in a few months. I don't understand why these shitty days of poker HAVE to coincide with my highest need for money to date. The more I need to win, the more I seem to lose of late.

You might be thinking that I'm making worse decisions due to the pressure of winning. But I'm still getting my money in good. All in with AA v KK preflop, river K. (Matt saw that one.) I was all in today with TPTK against an underpair that had a flush draw with one card to go, which of course came through. And I lost with top set for the third time in a row. TT v 97, T86 flop.

The poker gods really have it in for me, but I'm gonna try and stay as positive as possible. One good day and I'll be back to even. That upswing really needs to show its' face soon though. My bankroll is getting so thin that I might not even be able to play 1/2nl if I get hit hard a few more days.

Blimey.

Here Ya Go

Life is absolutely crazy. It can also be difficult, even a fool knows this. But no matter how bad you think you have it...someone out there has it worse. This revelation, when it hits you like a sack of bricks, can be overwhelming and useful.

My life has been a wreck lately...in fact, almost every single member of my immediate family has been on hard times recently. But I know no one personally who has had it worse than my mom.

She lost her car, job, house, husband; all in a short period of time. She's like Job. And still she marches onward. Which brings me to the crux of this story...she is now living with me.

Today she moved in with me and now begins a very interesting chapter of my life.

I never thought I'd live with my mom again, and I certainly never thought it would be her who needed to move in with me. If anything I'd think I would be the one who needed some help. But that's yet another way in which life is hilarious and cruel, both at the same time.

I'm trying my hardest to be optimistic about this turn of events but it is hard. Atleast I'm learning some valuable lessons, and getting some perspective on my life. I can't imagine going through what she has, which in a way makes me feel better about my life. But at the same time, the bad things in her life effect me because I care for her so much.

It's like when a husband feels the pain his pregnant wife feels. I feel the sorrow my mom is going through as if it were my own, and the fact that I have my own sorrow to deal with right now only heightens that sensation. Life is coming full circle for us both simultaneously. We each have had love loss recently, we each are in need of help from another, and are at a point in our lives where the future is as open as 7eleven. I really can do anything I want at this point in my life, and she can too. We have no obligations to another person or another job. Though that will likely be changing in the near future.

So I hit a crossroads in life, and my mom is at the same nexus.

Rather than bemoan the fact that I have to live with my mom again, or that my life is pretty much a joke right now; I'm trying my damnest to make the best of this situation. I hope I'll be able to help my mom through things, and in turn, she'll be able to help me...both financially and emotionally. I've always gotten along well with my parents and feel like I can tell both of them whatever is on my mind. Both were very supportive when I told them I played poker for a living. They just want me to be happy and do what I think will accomplish that goal. In many ways I'm luckier than most in these regards...as I know few people who have a good relationships with their parents.

So now the question is where do I go from here in life? I'm free to get the fuck out of Ohio, and that is certainly a plausibility. I'd love to go to Vegas, I feel it calling me. But I don't want to be premature about things. I want to have a big roll to start out with and I want to be at a point in my game where I feel like I can beat almost any game. I'm certainly not there yet, but another year of hard work and study will probably get me close. My biggest foe these days is lady luck, and of course myself. I need to become more Zen at the tables. I think a part time job will help me accomplish this, so that is one of my primary concerns right now.

Love has come and gone, and though I hurt, I still have a life to lead. This is going to be the year of change. And if all goes well, the following year will be the year I break into live tournament play like a well of water breaks through a strained dam...too much talent is building up behind these walls (as arrogant as that sounds.) It's time to start something.

Third 1-Outer in Three Days

PokerStars Game #4197399541: Hold'em No Limit ($1/$2) - 2006/03/06 - 16:27:50 (ET)
Table 'Meissa II' Seat #4 is the button
Seat 1: Tilter101 ($169.85 in chips)
Seat 2: LetMeTakeDat ($213.20 in chips)
Seat 3: WinstonWolfe ($190.15 in chips)
Seat 4: M.E.S. 76 ($187 in chips)
Seat 5: Dragonystic ($176.70 in chips)
Seat 6: yetate ($129.40 in chips)
Seat 7: oshan2 ($205.35 in chips)
Seat 8: supaVILLAIN ($96.90 in chips)
Seat 9: HoldEmVin ($130.35 in chips)
Dragonystic: posts small blind $1
yetate: posts big blind $2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Dragonystic [Td Th]
oshan2: calls $2
supaVILLAIN: raises $4 to $6
HoldEmVin: folds
Tilter101: calls $6
LetMeTakeDat: folds
WinstonWolfe: folds
M.E.S. 76: calls $6
Dragonystic: calls $5
yetate: calls $4
oshan2: calls $4
*** FLOP *** [5d 3h Ts]
Dragonystic: bets $10
yetate: folds
oshan2: calls $10
supaVILLAIN: folds
Tilter101: folds
M.E.S. 76: folds
*** TURN *** [5d 3h Ts] [6h]
Dragonystic: bets $18
oshan2: raises $28 to $46
Dragonystic: raises $114.70 to $160.70 and is all-in
oshan2: calls $114.70
*** RIVER *** [5d 3h Ts 6h] [5c]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Dragonystic: shows [Td Th] (a full house, Tens full of Fives)
oshan2: shows [5h 5s] (four of a kind, Fives)
oshan2 collected $374.40 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $377.40 | Rake $3
Board [5d 3h Ts 6h 5c]
Seat 1: Tilter101 folded on the Flop
Seat 2: LetMeTakeDat folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: WinstonWolfe folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: M.E.S. 76 (button) folded on the Flop
Seat 5: Dragonystic (small blind) showed [Td Th] and lost with a full house, Tens full of Fives
Seat 6: yetate (big blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 7: oshan2 showed [5h 5s] and won ($374.40) with four of a kind, Fives
Seat 8: supaVILLAIN folded on the Flop
Seat 9: HoldEmVin folded before Flop (didn't bet)

...also the 2nd consecutive top set to lose all in.

How?

Full Tilt Poker Game #474023797: Table Camino Entrada - $0.50/$1 - No Limit Hold'em - 21:22:57 ET - 2006/03/02
Seat 1: bigdnyc ($118.80)
Seat 2: Mystic Dragon ($93)
Seat 3: otter888 ($95.80)
Seat 4: KStam ($98.40)
Seat 5: Diamair31 ($38.85)
Seat 6: VEGASFUND ($18)
Seat 7: Skeet Surfing ($150.30)
Seat 8: Oska ($105.90)
Seat 9: J_2_the_Ohn ($56.60)
otter888 posts the small blind of $0.50
KStam posts the big blind of $1
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Mystic Dragon [Ts Tc]
Diamair31 folds
VEGASFUND folds
Skeet Surfing folds
Oska folds
J_2_the_Ohn calls $1
bigdnyc calls $1
Mystic Dragon calls $1
otter888 raises to $6
KStam folds
J_2_the_Ohn folds
bigdnyc folds
Mystic Dragon calls $5
*** FLOP *** [6c Th 4d]
otter888 bets $15
Mystic Dragon calls $15
*** TURN *** [6c Th 4d] [8d]
otter888 bets $45
Mystic Dragon raises to $72, and is all in
otter888 calls $27
Mystic Dragon shows [Ts Tc]
otter888 shows [Ah Ac]
*** RIVER *** [6c Th 4d 8d] [As]
Mystic Dragon shows three of a kind, Tens
otter888 shows three of a kind, Aces
otter888 wins the pot ($186) with three of a kind, Aces
Mystic Dragon is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $189 Rake $3
Board: [6c Th 4d 8d As]
Seat 1: bigdnyc folded before the Flop
Seat 2: Mystic Dragon (button) showed [Ts Tc] and lost with three of a kind, Tens
Seat 3: otter888 (small blind) showed [Ah Ac] and won ($186) with three of a kind, Aces
Seat 4: KStam (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 5: Diamair31 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: VEGASFUND didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: Skeet Surfing didn't bet (folded)
Seat 8: Oska didn't bet (folded)
Seat 9: J_2_the_Ohn folded before the Flop

I swear to god...I'm losing it. I knew that fucking ace was gonna hit. At another table a few minutes prior I get 1 outed with aces full against a guy with a smaller boat. He makes quads on the river.

Isn't this supposed to be a one in a million type thing? Not a screw me every week thing. This is so sick.

I've been 4 tabling the .5/1nl tables on FullTilt this month. But I feel like a wimp, I have the bankroll for 1/2nl, I really should be playing there. For some reason I don't feel like playing those stakes though.

The biggest problem I have is getting pushed off of hands with bluffs that I would call at .5/1nl. For example...today I was in a hand with a JJ. I bet out on a 2 club flop and get 1 caller behind me. The next card is Jc making my set but with the possible flush out there. I check and the guy behind me bets the pot, $18. I didn't think he had it, so I called him. River is a blank and I decide to check it to him again. (If he has the flush, betting into him is only going to get me raised, and if he was bluffing, he'll likely just fold...so I decided to give himself a chance to bluff/cut my losses if he does have the flush.) Well he bets the pot again, $50. I call him without much hesitation and he turns over ace high and I take the pot.

Here's the problem though. I don't think I can call a $100 bluff. And that's what the bet would be if I was playing 1/2nl. Even smaller bluffs tend to get me out on the river when threatening cards hit, and it seems like damn near every river is a threatening card. I'll find myself playing way too timidly at 1/2, and I don't like that.

So I dunno what to do. I have to get over this, and sooner would be better than later, as I'm in need for more money per month. I wish there was a way to alter the software so that all bets would show up only as increments of the big blind, rather than $ amounts.

I should trick my brain into not minding 1/2nl by playing a session of 2/4, and then jumping down after that. Wonder if that would work...

I Heartily Endorse This Event or Product

Ever so rarely I run into a blog that I think is absolutely genius. The best thing about Red Pills blog is that it seems to be accidentally genius. The guy gets banned from every poker forum around, so he makes his own! You rock Red Pill. Don't kill yourself man.