Life is such a riddle. And I don't mean the kind of riddle with a good answer that can be deduced through logical insight. I mean more like a koan of sorts. Life is throwing some heavy shit my way these days. (This by the way refers to much more than poker.) And I see no end to this awful period in my life. This is more or less why I haven't posting often at all anymore. It's not that nothing interesting is happening in my life. Quite the contrary. It's just that most of it ends up being interestingly awful.

This is why it's often so hard to learn from life's lessons. Most of them seem to come when you're at your worst...so you have even less energy to simultaneously bare the burdens and learn from them.

The future is all I can think about these days. I sit and figure out everything I want to change about my situation in life, and then find ways to these ends. I seriously do this all day long. I pretty much can't stand any single part of my life right now except the few moments when I'm out with a good friend. This is astounding when I realize that just one year ago, I was pretty much happy with everything in my life, and thought within another year I'd be able to attain everything I wanted.

Wow. That didn't happen. And one by one, every part of my life fell apart. Finances, Love, Family, Friends. I feel like a pinata. Life is beating the hell outta me (and running off with the candy.) I keep trying to tell myself that this is all for the best. That one day I'll look back and be glad I went through everything I did so that I could be the person I want to be. But for some reason acknowledging those things doesn't seem to make actually going through life easier right now, even though I believe this really is for the best.

I got a fortune cookie the other day that said "All your hard work will soon pay off." I hope I don't end up finding irony in that cookie too.

The losing won't stop. I've been taking it easy, but here and there have been playing a tournament.

Last tournament I work my way over 10k, then am all in with AK with tptk vs a flush draw for 20k. Next card peels off gives him the flush.

With last 3k I'm all in preflop with JJ v same guy with 99. Turn is 9, I'm out.

Previous tournament I get all my chips in with a set of 7's vs top 2 on the turn. I think it was 77 v JT on JT7x board. River is a ten, I lose again.

Gettin killed in cash games too. This streak has been going on for months now. I really dunno what to do.

You Should Have Taken the Blue Pill

My dear friend Redpill lost his entire poker bankroll. I can't say I'm surprised, he's not really any good at poker...but I was still kinda hoping he'd win. He's trying to get food stamps now and apparently he failed at that too. >.< Hang in there man, and again, don't kill yourself!

Excerpt:
"I lost all my money doing these things:
$22 NL Turbos
.50/1 NL full ring cash games
.25/.50 NL full ring cash game
$400 buyin Heads up NL
$26 MTT tourneys"

He then asks what he should play?

Redpill, if you're reading this...you might want to avoid the sections I highlighted in red. lol

I sorta wish I had a special blog for non poker posts...but oh well. =P

I started the evening walking towards downtown. I had no specific plans, just let the evening go wherever it goes. I ended up at a quiet oldperson kinda bar past 1st avenue. I think it was called Mike's Bar. I was the only young person there. I felt a bit out of my element, but I liked that it was quiet. I had a shot of crown and a bud lite and left.

Even though that wasn't much, I was a little tipsy already. I started walking back north and there was a guy singing behind me. I told him I liked his song and he shook my hand and handed me a tulip. I asked him what I was supposed to do with it, and he shrugged his shoulders and said "give it to somebody."

I didn't find anyone to give the tulip to, so I ended up hanging it on a sign outside of a shady looking building. I met another guy on the street and he asked me if he could give me a brochure. I told him he could, and so he did. It was a religious text, and I sorta laughed, because I couldn't believe there were religious people out and about on Friday night on High street.

Then I came across a hobo who started talking to me. Normally I just continue walking, but for some reason I decided to sit next to this guy and listen to what he had to say. He told me he was from Jackson, Mississippi, and his house was hit by Katrina. I really have no idea if he was being honest, but I gave him the quarters in my pocket, and he seemed no longer interested in talking and went on his way down High St. I again sorta laughed and went on my own way.

I ended up at Bento by myself and was glad I went there, because it was drum'n'bass night. I decided to be rather anti-social and just chill on the couch in the back by myself and listen to the music. I actually was rather enjoying it, while drinking a Guinness. I love dnb, especially while intoxicated. After about an hour this rather buxom girl came up to me and gave me a lap dance. I thought it was peculiar, but smiled and enjoyed it. (She was wearing a skimpy blue shirt and a pair of overly tight jeans, btw.)

I didn't think much of it, but then another girl in a blue shirt and tight jeans comes over and gives me a lapdance too. She wasn't nearly as talented as the first girl, but again, I enjoyed it anyways. I looked over to where she came from and saw the first girl and another girl (also wearing a blue shirt, go figure) and they were trying to get the last girl to come over to me. Of all the craziness in the night, I found this the most hilarious. The one girl shouted to me "she owes you a lapdance" and I just kinda smiled and nodded. But the third girl must have been too shy, for she never came my way. Ah well.

Twas a fun night anyways. And I'm really happy that I'm starting to feel a bit better. (I've been sick for the past week.)

^_^

I heard the most profound thing last night while O_o (aka, I was intoxicated.)

Why is it that hotels don't put in a 13th floor and yet the bible still has a page 666? Of the 2 you'd think the church would be most zealous in keeping evil/unlucky numbers away from them.

That does it. I'm thoroughly pissed off to write another post. Oh, but not about poker. This one is directed at the bastards at All In magazine.

So here's the deal. They have a link to my blog on their site. On that same page they also use content from my blog whenever I post. (So I hope and pray they put this one up to!)

Now this is becoming rather common. There are many sites that do this sorta thing, and it usually doesn't bother me too much. But in a way I feel like they should atleast ask permission to use my content. To this day only one site has ever asked me for permission, and that was months after they were using my content anyways!

Anyways, today I get this email from AllInMag.

Congratulations on a great blog.

Most of the blogs that listed themselves on our website either have a link to ALL IN or they have a tracking tool that shows which sites send people to their blog the most, and ALL IN is always within the top 5 referrers. You can check out http://wickedchopspoker.blogs.com/my_weblog/ where we are number 4 today.

I think it’s a great tool, basically ‘you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours’ and it is fair because the site that is helping you out the most benefits by being higher on the list. I’m sure that we are a top referrer for your blog as well, and definitely the only poker magazine site that does so much to promote poker bloggers. If you would prefer not to add this tool, would you consider adding ALL IN to your list of links?

And if you haven’t been to the site recently, definitely stop by and check out the new video coverage of the Foxwoods World Poker Classic, and stay tuned for podcasts from the upcoming WPT tournament at the Bellagio in Vegas! www.allinmag.com

Shaundell Fullington
Marketing Coordinator
ALL IN Media, LLC

P XXX
F XXX

There are many interesting things about this email. The very first sentence is a gem "Most of the blogs that listed themselves on our website..." Especially considering the fact that I never 'listed myself' on their site. They listed me.

Now originally I was fine with this. They're a poker mag and all. But we should be clear about one thing. They're the ones benefitting from this arrangment. They get free content on their site, which they usurped without my approval.

And now they have the audacity to ask for a link from me?!

Their contention that they are 1 of the top 5 referrers isn't even correct...atleast for my blog. Here are my top referrers.



AllinMag is almost at the bottom, and this is a good week for them! I usually have Pauly and TripJax sending a few people my way too. So no, Shaundell Fullington (if that is your real name), you are wrong.

This is the email I sent them in response to their request:

"sorry, no.

you use my content on your page without even asking permission...for profit, of which i see none. then inform me that this is in my own best interest since you bring traffic to my page (which i dont care about) and finally ask for a return link!

i'd like to see how you guys would respond to this if the situations were reversed. if i hosted a site with the content YOUR writers worked hard to produce without asking in advance, solely to bring more traffic to my site, and ultimately ask you to link back to the very site which steals your writing!

i'm shocked you can even bring yourself to ask."

I doubt I'll hear back from them, but if I do, I'll update.


::UPDATE::

I did get a response...which is so stunningly inaccurate I feel the need to reprint it here, and break it down sentence by sentence, Bill Rini style.

"I’m truly sorry you feel this way, most people do want traffic on their blogs, and this is why they write in such a public way. We have never had a complaint from a blogger for bringing them new readers. And if you want to talk about profit, I see ads on your site, which I’m sure you receive revenue from, and would receive more with traffic increase. Our site obviously works the same way. In addition, we never use content to the extent of repeating an entire post so that there is no need for the reader to go to the blog to read the entire thing. Good luck to you, and I’ll gladly remove you from our website."

Where to begin?

"I’m truly sorry you feel this way, most people do want traffic on their blogs, and this is why they write in such a public way. We have never had a complaint from a blogger for bringing them new readers."

I never complained about inreased traffic. Who would? My complaint was with the fact that they already use my content for free, without permission, and then have the nerve to ask for a return link, citing increased traffic (which is false, as I showed in the above picture) as reason to acquiesce.

"And if you want to talk about profit, I see ads on your site, which I’m sure you receive revenue from, and would receive more with traffic increase."

That's a rather interesting claim. I have zero ads on my blog. Can anyone find an ad? That Stars link on the right is nothing more, it's a link. It's not an affiliate tracker...check the URL. I have a few other links , such as the one to FireFox and WinAmp. I link to them because I like their products. I make nothing from doing so (duh) and get absolutely no extra traffic to my page. I don't use GoogleAds, or any other Ad Revenue system.

Total revenue from my blog :: $0.00.

And I don't give a damn either. I don't do this blog for money. I'm not a business like AllInMag. Which brings us to the next sentence.

"Our site obviously works the same way."

Uh, no. Our sites are complete opposites. Mine is a personal weblog, intended to help me along my poker journey and share my experiences. Yours is a corporate website, intended to produce $.

"In addition, we never use content to the extent of repeating an entire post so that there is no need for the reader to go to the blog to read the entire thing."

Kudos to you. You should also pat yourself on the back for not robbing banks. I love business minded ethics.

"Good luck to you, and I’ll gladly remove you from our website."

I'm sure she thinks she's doing me a disservice by giving me the passive-aggressive boot from their site. The truth is I really don't care.

It's been a while since I've written a post, and this one will have nothing to do with poker. In fact, it may contain all sorts of ridiculous grammatical errors due to me being intoxicated.

Tonight I went out by myself up to Bento Go Go. I meet the craziest people when I'm trashed by myself. This girl sat down next to me at the bar and starting talking about how she was way too old to be there. She looked mid 20's, so I asked how old she was, and she said 27. Now that doesn't sound like too old to be in a bar, but Bento is right across the street from OSU campus. So 27 is old for that bar, but she wasn't too old to be there I suppose. I'm almost 25 afterall, and I was there.

Now what's interesting is this girl was a hair stylist. She gave me her card cause I told her I was growing my hair out and would need a good stylist to do my hair. I've been compeltely bald for the last 2 years and I recently decided to grow my hair out again. In fact, tonight was the first time I've cut my hair in 2 years, and I just happen to meet a hair stylist at the bar, how nuts is that.

For some reason she decided to buy me a bunch of shots, and I felt bad because I was already wasted when she arrived. What happened was she bought 4 shots and inexplicably gave the bartender a $20 tip (for an $18 order.) So he asked if there was anything else she would like, and she said no, but looked at me if I wanted anything, so I said "a shot of Crown, please."

At this point another shot was kinda overkill, I was hammered. So was this girl too. (I wasn't trying to hit on her by the way. But the reason for that is an entire different story.) And she was dropping the contest of her purse all over the ground. Some big bills were falling to the floor! This girl was loaded. Some nice gentlemen behind me notified her of this and she decided to buy yet another round of shots to thank them for telling her she was dropping her money and she got me another shot!

EEp.

AlCantHang would be ashamed of me but I couldnt' take the shot. If I didn't have to work tomorrow morning it would be a different story, but I've recently done the hungover-at-work thing, and I don't want to repeat that scene, it was too much. So I didn't take the shot.

But she did, and so did her moneyfinding cohorts. She then gave me her card and stumbled away, and I found everything quite humorous.

I then ran into a guy I went to high school with who spent several years scalping tickets to major sporting events in order to make a living. I was too drunk for much talking and I just said hi and finally left.

The evening was capped off with hamburgers, fries, and season 3 of Third Rock From the Sun DVD. Score!